Why I joined the Mormon Church

I have wanted to share this story for a long time over the Internet in the hopes it may reach a broader audience than those in my social circles who have heard this about this journey many times. I will share the "spark notes" version to make this an easy read. I am writing this to appeal to a wide audience so I will try to define certain LDS terms for those who are not familiar with the church or its doctrines. The intent of this writing is the same as that of Nephi's (a Book of Mormon prophet) to "persuade men to come unto the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, and be saved" (1 Ne. 6:4).  

Here is a little bit of background of my life. I will begin with the most relevant time period in my life, my high school years. I grew up as a non-denominational Christian in a very Mormon community. My family would regularly attend our Christian church on Sundays. This started when I was very young and continued all the way through high school. Most of my friends in high school were of the LDS faith. This didn't really affect my life during high school from a social standpoint, I was just one of the guys. My friends and I would frequently debate certain doctrinal points in conversation when religion came up as a topic of discussion. I was familiar with certain parts of the LDS faith from those discussions and from things I would catch wind of at church. Most of my extended family is LDS and I would attend the church on occasion with them. My knowledge of the LDS church at this point was at best superficial. I was never very interested in religion in those years, but it was a part of my life nevertheless. The main focuses of my life were typical things for teenagers, such as football, weightlifting, friends, and so on. I excelled in football and earned a scholarship to play at a small school in Brevard, North Carolina. It was in North Carolina where I would have my first intimate encounter with the Church. 

The Lord had a guiding hand in my decision to attend Brevard College and play football there. This would be the beginning of an exciting, and painful awakening of who I was as a person and what I believed. The way I got involved with Brevard in the first place was a miracle. My step-Dad at the time ran into one of the assistant coaches through happenstance and showed him my football film. The coach immediately called me and offered me a scholarship. I wasn't interested at first, but through various experiences I was led to call them during the first week of fall camp and accept my scholarship. That would turn out to be one of the most important decisions of my life. While I was there I was overwhelmed by the difficultly of college football and college level classes. Perhaps the most jarring experience was the culture shock. I felt like I was in a different country speaking a new language. Welcome to the south. The bubble that I had grown up in had been completely shattered. This would open my mind and heart to new ideas, for better and for worse. I was swept away quickly into I lifestyle that I had never been exposed to. I wasn't guilty of any heinous sins, but I was certainly lost in the "party life". It was during this time I would meet the missionaries. 

A friend and I were talking and the discussion turned to Utah. He asked me if I was Mormon, (a very typical question from anyone who finds out your from Utah) and I of course responded no. He persisted asking questions about the church to which I had no answers. I told him that I couldn't answer his questions, but I knew who could. We called the LDS missionaries and had them come over to answer his questions. During our first meeting neither my friend nor me were interested in what they had to say. The only reason why I let them come back was because I was too nice to say no when they asked if they could. My friend refused to meet with them again so I met with them on my own. My second discussion with the missionaries turned to salvation and they asked me if I thought we needed to be baptized in order to be saved. I recited to them what I was always taught growing up in my church, that we were saved by the grace of God through faith. They responded by reading to me John 3:5 "except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God." I was completely thrown off guard by the scripture, as I was basically bible illiterate at the time, and didn't know how to respond. The spirit witnessed to me of the truthfulness of their doctrine. I was confused why my pastors growing up had never taught that doctrine as being necessary to our salvation. This experience led me to truly investigate the church with a sincere heart. During my time with the missionaries in Brevard we had lessons multiple times a week. I even attended church with them a few times. I had many questions that I would ask them about Joseph Smith and the Book of Mormon. At times in our discussions I could feel deep down that what they were saying was true. Much like Amulek, (another Book of Mormon prophet) “I did harden my heart, for I was called many times and I would not hear; therefore I knew concerning these things, yet I would not know (Alma 10:6).” I politely declined to be baptized when invited because I simply was not ready to change and I wasn’t ready to embrace my budding testimony. This period went on for about two months before I moved back to Utah because I no longer wanted to attend school in North Carolina. The lessons from the missionaries would stick with me over the most trying months of my life.

I decided to transfer to Utah State University to pursue my dream of playing division one football. During my time in North Carolina I had been taught the truth from the missionaries, and “the power of the Holy Ghost (carried) it unto” my heart (2 Nephi 33:1). The Lord would have to humble me over the next several months so I would let the truth into my heart. My dream of playing football was shattered when NCAA denied my wavier to play as a transfer student. Everything I had worked so hard for slipped from my hands. Football was the sun to my earth. Its what drove me. It's what made me get out of bed in the morning. Its presence in my life was the purpose of my life. The absence of football gave me time and a reason to reflect on the true purpose of my life. Was the sole purpose for my existence to bash people’s heads in on the gridiron? Is that what God had made me for? On top of those questions, my experience with the missionaries made me question the foundation of my faith. I began to question whether or not I even believed in God. As I dug into the foundations of my religious faith I realized I didn’t have a true independent witness that there was a God, and never did. My faith in God only existed because my parents and pastors had taught me there was a God. Was that a reason to believe?

I remember the moment it dawned on me that I didn’t believe in God. I felt like someone had taken a vacuum and sucked out the hope in my life. I was sitting in class watching a documentary on factory workers in China. I saw the awful hard lives they had compared to the luxuries I enjoyed. I was thinking about the suffering that God allowed so many to endure. I wondered how a loving God could allow such things to exist. In that moment the small glimmer of faith I had was extinguished. I immediately questioned if life was worth living at all if there was no God, which meant there is no hope in a better world. That was the beginning of my journey through a living hell.

I am sorry to leave you with a cliffhanger but I will post the rest of the story next week!

 -Me during my freshman semester at Brevard College.